![\"2015-05-15](\"http:\/\/www.morvernodling.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/2015-05-15-19.30.00-338x600.jpg\")
\n(but it still sucks)<\/p>\n
I have been underlining this fact in my words ever since my swift rejection from the Horizon Centre\u2019s PhD programme. It\u2019s there in my conversations about the interview, edging my words with a\u00a0glitter of doubt and the supportive words and encouraging motions from friends, family, strangers remind me that I\u2019m the only one I need to convince of this fact.<\/p>\n
So<\/em>… It wasn\u2019t the right time, it wasn\u2019t the right thing. Maybe later, maybe something else \u2013 still an achievement to be shortlisted. Doubt glitter static fastens itself to me in droves and I share it around, looking to be comforted in this\u00a0act of sharing. Glitter, as\u00a0a friend once told me, \u00a0is ‘the herpes of craft supplies’ and almost (but not quite) impossible to get rid of. Share it around, rub it off on someone else and generally get on with it, girl.<\/p>\n Coming out of a\u00a0month of receiving possibly life changing emails, prepping for the chance\u00a0of a new life I felt deflated and drained. Ready to pack it in and hide in a cave of my own creation.\u00a0The BCCA residency, which I had applied to at the beginning of the year, was a\u00a0goal post on the path away from all of that. If not this residency, then what was I bothering with all of these lengthy applications for anyway.<\/p>\n